


Poem: One Step Behind

by CaffieneKitty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emo, Gen, POV John Winchester, Poetry, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-04
Updated: 2006-08-04
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffieneKitty/pseuds/CaffieneKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a poem. Yeah, a poem. Weird. Sort of a summary view into John's mind over a year of tracking the Demon on his own, triggered by the following quote from John in the episode <i>Salvation</i>: "Look, I wish I had more answers. I do. I've always been one step behind it. Look, I've never gotten there in time to save..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poem: One Step Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another example of the "I will be archiving everything here" statement on my profile. I wrote this between Season 1 and season 2 when no one really knew what John had been off doing during season 1. Kripke'd all over the place.
> 
>  
> 
> _Originally published on August 4th, 2006 on fanfiction.net_

Leaving was hard, but had to be done  
you wouldn't understand  
you can't, Dean.

Patterns, once seen, never leave the waking eye.  
 _death, weather, storm_  
 _a fire_  
 _a death_

Another, following the signs to another  
 _death, weather, storm_  
 _a fire_  
 _a death_

Every time.

 _death -_ Cattle first, small sacrifices,  
denied, forgotten, not reported.  
Time lost because some  
damn  
farmer denied the event  
fearing ridicule about aliens.

Every single time.

 _weather -_ Temperature fluctuations.  
Heatwave in December, snow  
in Missouri, in April.  
Enough to make the newspapers  
if the rest of the world stops existing  
but not if there's politics available to report on.  
News is only news  
if you know what it means.  
Thank God for the Weather Network.

Every single God damned time.

 _storm -_ Wind and lightning.  
Ball lightning, sheet lightning, forks and crackling  
shocks in the air, ozone.  
See it, hear it, drive beneath it,  
try to outrace it,  
watch it fade.  
Always too late.  
Storm is done  
and now the fire comes again.

Every time, I'm too late.

 _a fire -_ Rage on the horizon.  
A shadow in the blazing laughing light,  
seen or imagined,  
no difference.

The end is always the same.

 _a death_ \- Again, life ended, lives destroyed  
Another fire,  
another family,  
another death,  
another Mary.

Over and over and over  
and over and  
over.

I can't...  
 _break scream cry rage_  
 _despair surrender stop_  
 _yield fail shatter_

I can't. I don't remember how.  



End file.
